Freedom in Life

This is something that many talk about but few really pay attention to. Society has a way of imprisoning us. Many claim to be free but the reality is they live in total bondage. Nothing about their lives is their own. Their entire existence is spend fulfilling the desires of others.

Society teaches us to be selfless. I say that to be free we must instead be "selfish". Now, before anyone goes off the deep-end, I am not referring to being a completely self-absorbed ass. Instead, what I mean by selfish is a self-interest in one's own life. Too often we are taught to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others. This is not how freedom is acquired.

For whatever reason, freedom is something that a person has always had to fight for. History reveals the struggle man embarked upon in battling foes who wished to hold him captive. The same concept is equally present today. There are forces in each of our lives that seek to control us. This comes from almost every person we encounter.

If you question this, take a look at your day. How much of it is spend on activities that you choose? Most find that only a small portion of their time is spent engaging in behaviors that are of their own free choice. For example, our work hours are dictated by other people whether it be a boss or a customer/client. After hours can be occupied by family responsibilities with children and spouses taking the lead. Finally, we know how institutions such as governments and other dogma promoting entities try to control what we think and do. In the end, freedom is only an illusion.

Obviously, if everyone assumed total freedom in their lives, society would be afflicted with anarchy. Total freedom is also something that is not readily possible. However, this is not much of a concern since most of the populous is adept at falling into line with the prevailing mentality of the day. This is where you are able to separate yourself from them.

Freedom in life starts in the mind. Making a conscious choice to look at all of your beliefs helps to move one in a direction away from control. This "rebellion" unearths how enslaved one truly can become. Adhering to the wishes of others all the time is nothing more than turning your life over to that person. People do this every day of the year.

I tell people to first determine what they want sexually. So many try to fit into society by maintaining the proper sexual relationship. We are all taught that we are to meet the right person, get married, and start a family. And this is exactly what most people do. However, we are seeing more than half these arrangements ceasing because this is not the path to happiness. The dogma of old might not apply to your life.

Therefore, look at your sexual desires. This is the key to your freedom. Do you desire something different? Are you gay or bisexual and afraid to explore that part of yourself? Do you desire a BDSM type relationship? Is the single path better suited for you? Or are you poly and seeking multiple relations at the same time? All of these choices are valid and available to you. However, they will be nothing more than fantasy as long as you are unwilling to look at your beliefs. These are the things that will enslave you. Breaking free of binding ideas is one of the major steps towards liberation. Consider taking that step now.

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The Ability To Go Against The Grain

It takes a certain inner strength to be able to go against the grain. People want to do what is popular. Fitting in is something that is basic to most individuals. I presume it is inherent in us as humans. Only a select few in any generation were able to rebel against common thought. At some level, we all want to be considered "normal".

Unfortunately, normal in this generation is the path to mediocrity. Following the herd leads to another form of slavery. The recent financial crisis reveals how the "American Dream" can be smashed in a few short months. Now, there are millions of people who are dependent upon the decisions of others for their existence. The laid off only hope their unemployment compensation and/or welfare payments are granted. At the same time, many workers are hoping they are not the next one chosen to be let go. Their lives are all in the hands of others.

What was the cause of all this: debt. People lived above their means for way too long. We spend a great deal of effort trying to have all the things that impress others. Being normal meant going to school to get a "secure" job which paid well while allowing us to accumulate all those things which would make us happy. Those items were: a foreign automobile, an over sized house, exotic vacations, and designer clothing. This mindset gave the entire nation a huge debt load. When things collapsed, they brought almost everyone down with them.

Succeeding requires going against the grain. This takes courage. Those who walk a different path risk being alienated by those closest to him/her. Isolation is something that most people will do almost anything to avoid. Being an outcast is a sentence heavier than most can handle.

The entire concept of sex based motivation goes against many tenets of our culture. We like to portray ourselves as an "evolved" society. There are times we seem to evoke the Victorian principles of yesteryear. Everything that is wrong with society can be attributed to some form of moral decay. This is what we are taught. The idea of using something that is inherent within us is contrary to what "upstanding" people do. Entertaining the sexual side of ourselves is not normal; that is something the perverts do. By classifying our behavior, society exerts control over us. It is only by getting out from under this control that we can call ourselves free.

The recent events in this country show us where following the herd leads us. It is time for each of us to take the power over our lives. We lived under the myth of society for long enough. Success is something that is available to each individual. However, we first must decide what our definition of that is. Then, it takes us setting up a plan for achieving the results we desire. Finally, we take action to get to the point that we are destined. It is that simple. Yet, we must be the one to take these steps. Leaving it to others can have catastrophic results.

How Fear Controls Us

Fear is a enemy that most people fight on a regular basis. However, it is so subtle that most do not know the power that it wields. Fear has the ability to completely destroy one's life without issuing a single challenge. It simply silently kills all life one day at a time.

The problem with humans is that we project. Our minds have the ability to create pictures in our head. These images are so real that we believe they are real. The mind cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. If it sees the image, it takes it to be true.

At the same time, the mind also has the ability to protect us from peril. When it determines a situation to be dangerous, it will emit signals that foster our protection. The feeling of fear will be felt throughout the body thus increasing the releasing of chemicals to assist us. It is the basic fight or flight response.

Naturally, most of what we encounter does not require this life or death response. Nevertheless, the mind will do all it can to protect itself (us) from harm. Fear is the tool that is most valuable in this effort. The mind conjures up response to our images which it deems necessary for protection.

Sadly, the mind favors status quo. The unknown is something the mind abhors. When it does not know the outcome to a situation, the mind cannot let that exist. It will invent an outcome. Most often this image is a negative one. The majority of the population has the brain trained to seek the negative. It is the default mindset. Instead of projecting positively, the mind takes the opposite track. This allows it to increase the fear within the body and move to a situation that it knows.

Let us relate this to our favorite subject, sex. Specifically, what happens when a guy sees a woman that he is sexually interested in. Most often it goes something like this: something about her physically catches his attention. The next step is he has an argument in his head as to whether to approach her. One side says to go for it while the other argues against it. At this point, the projection mechanism kicks in. He starts to play in his mind what will happen if he goes up to her. Suddenly, the mind, disliking the uncertainty, focuses upon an image with a horrific outcome. If there were bad experiences in the past, it will draw upon them. His mind will "see" the most outrageous outcome ever experienced by a man. This circumstance passes fear and moves to stark terror. Naturally, any chance of approaching this sexy woman is long gone. The fear took complete control of the situation.

This is a basic example of how the mind uses fear to control us. It is one that most of us can identify with in one way or another. We all have felt the fear in our bodies when interacting with someone who we were attracted to. The fact that we have no idea what the outcome will be is what causes the mind to delve towards the "worst case scenario". Again, the mind abhors the unknown.

Creating better pictures in our head is the fundamental change that we all need to make. The fact that the fear we are listening to is not based in reality shows that we buy into something that is false. Fear is not real. There is no basis whatsoever to follow this insane mind concept. Yet we do. Applying sexual motivation to our lives is paramount to success. Turning the mental makeup from one of failure to success is crucial. The above situation is one that we return to over and over. Learn to alter you behavior by approaching someone of the opposite sex. We want the mind to begin to reference positive experiences with this behavior. In doing so, we will be able to draw upon this in all our other activities.

Saying Yes

Here is a test that is quick and easy to do: go to a public place where there are lots of people (example: a mall) and see how often people say the word "no". It is astounding to realize there are so many who live their life with this as their predominant thought. In effect, they are depriving themselves of saying "yes" in their own lives. Happiness eludes them because of they fail to engage in life.

We are all taught to be responsible. At the same time, we are told to forge our own path in life. However, we are also taught that there are conditions attached the idea of creating your own life. Invaribly, we are shown that we must operate within certain parameters. Stray outside of them and we quickly learn there are consequences for our choices.

These are just some of the ideas which turns us away from saying "yes" to life opportunities. How many interracial marriages were forgone because of prejudices against a certain ethnic groups? Something closer to home, how many sexual encounters were passed upon because that person didn't meet your friends qualifications? We all fell prey to this one at some point in our lives. The point is that people who live according to others standards tend to create reasons for saying "no".

Sexually based motivation is an entirely different look at life. Under this concept, we choose to say "yes" to those things that make us happy. We know the power of sex as a motivator. Seeking to arrange our life around this ideal is something that all can do. Nevertheless, to do so we must be willing to say "yes" to the opportunities that are presented.

Standards are a double-edged sword. To improve your life, it is imperative that you raise your standards. At the same time, to increase the happiness in your life, lower your standards. This paradox here is that both can be accomplished at the same time. Two actions which seem polar opposites are both necessary for success and happiness.

It is best to hold ourselves to a higher level of accountability. That is what is meant by raising a standard. We seek to improve our life by taking more beneficial action. However, expanding our experiences is also crucial. This is where we lower our standards. We say "yes" to the opportunities presented.

Look at your own sexual history. How many times did you allow fear, ego, or arrogance to ruin a potentially wonderful experience? Were you afraid of being rejected which caused you to walk away? Was he/she not the perfect fit physically so you passed? All these actions are signs of ways that you talk yourself out of a "yes". Begin today by looking for ways to get involved by saying "yes".