It is impossible to move towards something unless you know exactly what that is. Goal setting experts will tell you that for something to be considered a real goal it must be measurable. This means that there is a time when you know whether you reached it or not. It is similar to driving across country (I know you all have heard this before). When you set out on a trip, the first thing you do is to plan on your destination. Doing this alleviates increases your chances since you know where you are going.
Sexual Clarity
I often tell people that the best place to start is with one's own sexual lifestyle. You would be amazed how few people proactively chose the sex life that they have. Instead, they allowed the forces around them dictate what is proper behavior and what is not. Come on. What is more personal than sex. Surely, this is one area that anyone has the complete freedom to choose? A quick look around society will tell you that the exact opposite is true.
Nowhere is control from the outside more evident than in the sexual arena. People are influenced by a variety of institutions, individuals, and dogma. Unfortunately, this occurs without any knowledge on the person's part. The conditioning that takes place happens over decades. It starts from the youngest of ages until we thoroughly adhere to the dogma. Each of us is subject to this so, unless one actively seeks to reprogram him or herself, the result is blind obedience.
Decide what you want out of your sex life. Spend time getting clear exactly what you want things to look like. Forget the preconceived notions that you have. Your programming will scream at many of the ideas that you might come up with. The dogma we were taught is powerful and you learned it well. Now is time to really consider what will make you happy.
The process of breaking free from bondage is to decide what you want. It is that simple. In my book Sexual Motivation, I mentioned that determining your sexual desires enables you to be firm in your decisions. To thy own self be true. Live your life for you and nobody else. This is where we find happiness.I often tell people that the best place to start is with one's own sexual lifestyle. You would be amazed how few people proactively chose the sex life that they have. Instead, they allowed the forces around them dictate what is proper behavior and what is not. Come on. What is more personal than sex. Surely, this is one area that anyone has the complete freedom to choose? A quick look around society will tell you that the exact opposite is true.
Nowhere is control from the outside more evident than in the sexual arena. People are influenced by a variety of institutions, individuals, and dogma. Unfortunately, this occurs without any knowledge on the person's part. The conditioning that takes place happens over decades. It starts from the youngest of ages until we thoroughly adhere to the dogma. Each of us is subject to this so, unless one actively seeks to reprogram him or herself, the result is blind obedience.
Decide what you want out of your sex life. Spend time getting clear exactly what you want things to look like. Forget the preconceived notions that you have. Your programming will scream at many of the ideas that you might come up with. The dogma we were taught is powerful and you learned it well. Now is time to really consider what will make you happy.
Susceptible To Control
Confusion allows for someone else to assume control. Have you ever seen a movie where there is a traumatic scene where people are in jeopardy? Often, in these films, the person who is "in charge" freezes resulting in a lack of decision. He or she just doesn't know what to do. Fortunately, for all those involved, the films hero is there to step in and take control. The indecision and lack of certainty on the part of the leader opens the door for someone else.
Our minds are the same way. When we are uncertain about what we are going to do, we allow someone else to make the decisions. This can happen with another person who is there who actually makes the choice for us. Or, it might be a previous idea that was planted by someone else in the past. Nevertheless, the end result is we are not consciously choosing what we want. This is enabling us to be controlled in that moment. Once again, this shows how confusion is a wonderful jailer.
Our minds are the same way. When we are uncertain about what we are going to do, we allow someone else to make the decisions. This can happen with another person who is there who actually makes the choice for us. Or, it might be a previous idea that was planted by someone else in the past. Nevertheless, the end result is we are not consciously choosing what we want. This is enabling us to be controlled in that moment. Once again, this shows how confusion is a wonderful jailer.
Breaking Free
So, do you want an open sexual relationship? Are you gay? Bisexual? Polyamorous? Polysexual? Do you like to masturbate but feel guilty about it? Is anal sex something that you want to try? Whatever the preference, determine that it is something for you. Do not allow the dogma of the past to affect you. Who cares what others think! If it makes you happy, then pursue it. This is what creates freedom.
With a little clarity you will start to see the power in this concept. Momentum is built the moment that you realize what you want. A lot of energy in life is wasted on activities that we do not care about nor do they net much effect. Removing this practice allows us to focus our attention that those tasks which will create a benefit to us. Freedom dictates this is what we go after. Resist the temptation to justify living any other way.
Get clear about what you want in life and you will be free to go after it.
Click here for your version of Sexual Motivation.
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