Did you ever take the time to consider how much you value the opinions of others? Actually, to take it once step further, did you ever ponder how you allow the opinions of others to control your life? If you are like most, these thoughts never really cross your mind. Instead, you pass through life living according to the precepts of others.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the area of sex. I found that the sexual arena is where all human behavior is magnified. If you want to find out something about how humans act, look at their sexual practices. With regard to the opinions of others, we see that our sexual activities are often controlled those very opinions. People rarely form their own ideals in this area. Instead, they allow others to dictate all that transpires.
Remember the days of high school where you would go out with a certain girl (or guy) because you knew your friends would not approve? Of course. We all remember those days. Sadly, the truth that most of us do not have to think all the way back to high school to recall this behavior. I would guess the majority of people retain this same mindset into adulthood.
Sex is something that is highly personal and individual. We all are attracted to something different. What one person finds sexy, another might find revolting. However, most tend to fall into the trap of trying to fit into what is considered normal. Therefore, they will resist taking action which goes contrary to popular belief.
A prime example is the homosexual community. This is a group that was ostracized for decades by society. They were judged, condemned, and physically abused. Society called them all kinds of names in an effort to "convert" them to normalcy. Sadly, many fell prey to these pressures. The opinions of others (and the violence) forced them to abandon the sexual choice they wanted to make. This trend changed in the last few decades with homosexuality being accepted by a larger percentage of the population. Nevertheless, the same cannot be said for polygamists, transgenders, or swingers. These groups are still looked down upon.
People who know me understand that I am involved in all kinds of "defiant" sexual behavior. (I write that term in quotes to signify their judgment not mine) I am a swinger, nudist, and practitioner of BDSM. These are lifestyle choices which I consciously chose which puts me at odds with mainstream society. Nevertheless, this is how I want to live my life. I am not at the mercy of public opinion on this one.
This brings me back to my original questions. Consider your life and how often you succumb to the wishes of others. Do you attend family gatherings out of guilt? Are you worried about what others will think when you are confronted with a decision? Do you shy away from choices because you know they are against the norms of those you frequently interact with? This is a sign that you put too much emphasis on what others think. Your life is your own. It is up to you to determine what you do with your time here on this planet. At the end of the road, when you look back, there will be nobody to blame but yourself.
Stop putting stock into what others think. The sad truth is that most of the people you are trying to appease are unhappy in their own lives. Whenever anyone is focusing upon your life, they are not looking at their own. This distraction is what most people want since they lack the courage to face the truth about their lives. Hence, they spent their time criticizing others who decide to live a little differently. These are the people that most are putting stock in.
As you can see, the opinions of others should matter little to you. I chose to live my life according to standards that are acceptable to me. If someone else has an issue with my choice, then that is his or her problem. We are free to choose how we spend our time on this planet and this is a freedom I opt to exercise. Do you have the courage to do the same? If so, then stop worrying so much about what others think. Do not allow their misery to rule your life.
Showing posts with label sex as a motivator. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex as a motivator. Show all posts
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sex Game To Motivate
There is a very simple way to get yourself to take action: enlist someone to have sex with you if you complete it. For 95% of the people out there, the idea of getting laid as a reward will instantly stimulate action towards a desired end. There is nothing more powerful than the allure of sex. Couple this with the idea that sex is guaranteed if a task is completed and you have enough drive to move mountains.
I know what you are all thinking: how can I demean the most precious act between a couple. Get real. Do you really buy into that dribble? The truth is that most people, after a few months with the same partner, are interested in "getting off". While they may still have their partners interest at heart, they are concerned with their own. This is equally true for men as well as women.
Once again we see how society puts sex in an unrealistic position. Sex can be an expression of love. It is also a physical act culminating with a physical climax (if done right). We see how the attachment people have to sex changes things. Take a relationship for example: everything changes when you have sex with that other person. But does it need to be that way? In my opinion it does not.
The other area of resistance is the idea that providing sex to another as a reward will make one into a "prostitute". Again I say grow up. Spread you legs and let the boy have his way. Deep down we are all sexual beings. The idea of assisting someone you care about to reach his or her highest potential is beyond words. Why shouldn't you offer the most powerful motivator the Universe ever created? Obviously because of past stigmas.
Couples who play a sex game such as this find their relationship is deeper and more exciting. There is nothing wrong with offering sex as reward for a job well done. Hell, people need not be couples to utilize the technique. Friends can provide the same motivation to each other. In fact, that often is a greater motivator than when it is a spouse. We all love to have new experiences and nowhere is this truer than in the sexual arena.
My basic belief is that people put too much emphasis on sex. It is something that most people thoroughly enjoy. Therefore, it has the power to completely alter one's lot in life. When you find that you are falling behind on certain tasks, just find someone who will agree to have sex with you if you complete them. I can assure you that your productivity will increase immediately.
I know what you are all thinking: how can I demean the most precious act between a couple. Get real. Do you really buy into that dribble? The truth is that most people, after a few months with the same partner, are interested in "getting off". While they may still have their partners interest at heart, they are concerned with their own. This is equally true for men as well as women.
Once again we see how society puts sex in an unrealistic position. Sex can be an expression of love. It is also a physical act culminating with a physical climax (if done right). We see how the attachment people have to sex changes things. Take a relationship for example: everything changes when you have sex with that other person. But does it need to be that way? In my opinion it does not.
The other area of resistance is the idea that providing sex to another as a reward will make one into a "prostitute". Again I say grow up. Spread you legs and let the boy have his way. Deep down we are all sexual beings. The idea of assisting someone you care about to reach his or her highest potential is beyond words. Why shouldn't you offer the most powerful motivator the Universe ever created? Obviously because of past stigmas.
Couples who play a sex game such as this find their relationship is deeper and more exciting. There is nothing wrong with offering sex as reward for a job well done. Hell, people need not be couples to utilize the technique. Friends can provide the same motivation to each other. In fact, that often is a greater motivator than when it is a spouse. We all love to have new experiences and nowhere is this truer than in the sexual arena.
My basic belief is that people put too much emphasis on sex. It is something that most people thoroughly enjoy. Therefore, it has the power to completely alter one's lot in life. When you find that you are falling behind on certain tasks, just find someone who will agree to have sex with you if you complete them. I can assure you that your productivity will increase immediately.
Friday, July 17, 2009
How Fear Controls Us
Fear is a enemy that most people fight on a regular basis. However, it is so subtle that most do not know the power that it wields. Fear has the ability to completely destroy one's life without issuing a single challenge. It simply silently kills all life one day at a time.
The problem with humans is that we project. Our minds have the ability to create pictures in our head. These images are so real that we believe they are real. The mind cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. If it sees the image, it takes it to be true.
At the same time, the mind also has the ability to protect us from peril. When it determines a situation to be dangerous, it will emit signals that foster our protection. The feeling of fear will be felt throughout the body thus increasing the releasing of chemicals to assist us. It is the basic fight or flight response.
Naturally, most of what we encounter does not require this life or death response. Nevertheless, the mind will do all it can to protect itself (us) from harm. Fear is the tool that is most valuable in this effort. The mind conjures up response to our images which it deems necessary for protection.
Sadly, the mind favors status quo. The unknown is something the mind abhors. When it does not know the outcome to a situation, the mind cannot let that exist. It will invent an outcome. Most often this image is a negative one. The majority of the population has the brain trained to seek the negative. It is the default mindset. Instead of projecting positively, the mind takes the opposite track. This allows it to increase the fear within the body and move to a situation that it knows.
Let us relate this to our favorite subject, sex. Specifically, what happens when a guy sees a woman that he is sexually interested in. Most often it goes something like this: something about her physically catches his attention. The next step is he has an argument in his head as to whether to approach her. One side says to go for it while the other argues against it. At this point, the projection mechanism kicks in. He starts to play in his mind what will happen if he goes up to her. Suddenly, the mind, disliking the uncertainty, focuses upon an image with a horrific outcome. If there were bad experiences in the past, it will draw upon them. His mind will "see" the most outrageous outcome ever experienced by a man. This circumstance passes fear and moves to stark terror. Naturally, any chance of approaching this sexy woman is long gone. The fear took complete control of the situation.
This is a basic example of how the mind uses fear to control us. It is one that most of us can identify with in one way or another. We all have felt the fear in our bodies when interacting with someone who we were attracted to. The fact that we have no idea what the outcome will be is what causes the mind to delve towards the "worst case scenario". Again, the mind abhors the unknown.
Creating better pictures in our head is the fundamental change that we all need to make. The fact that the fear we are listening to is not based in reality shows that we buy into something that is false. Fear is not real. There is no basis whatsoever to follow this insane mind concept. Yet we do. Applying sexual motivation to our lives is paramount to success. Turning the mental makeup from one of failure to success is crucial. The above situation is one that we return to over and over. Learn to alter you behavior by approaching someone of the opposite sex. We want the mind to begin to reference positive experiences with this behavior. In doing so, we will be able to draw upon this in all our other activities.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
In 100 Years What Will It Matter?
We have all heard this. Sadly, few of us ever subscribe to this philosophy. People get too caught up with the short term results in life. They never seem to get past the fact there are certain things that are inevitable in life. However, walk through the action and move on. It is that simple.
Sex as a motivator is helpful in allowing us to move past some of the fear we have residing within our heads. We tend to do a little better when we let the "little head override the big head". This goes contrary to what society teaches yet judging by the amount of unhappy people, who wants to listen to their methodology anyway? There is a lot more available to those who reach for it.
Rejection is a part of life. This is true whether we are referring to dating, sex, business, sales, or dealing with family. There will be times we are told "no". The reasons will vary but the end result is the same: we do not get what we want. It is reality so deal with it.
When we focus upon dating, who is the one who goes out on Friday night with the hot girl? Simply, the one who asks. It is the one who takes the risk who succeeds. Those who play it safe by avoiding the chance of rejection get to sit home alone watching an old movie. You have to get into the game to win.
The same is true in sales. Those who leave the office and make sales calls end up selling. Contrast this with the numbers of those who never leave the office. They avert the rejection while also avoiding success. The ones who put themselves out there prevail in the end.
Think back to the first girl who rejected you in school. For me it was a girl named Angel. I asked her out at a dance only to be shot down quicker than I knew what happened. It was as if "no" was pre-programmed. At the time it was devastating. Fortunately, I have since gotten over it (amazing what 30 years will do for a guy). Time does heal all wounds.
What would have happened if I allowed this past experience to stop me? There are many women I went out with after that because I asked them. I did not allow the fear to stop me. Sex is something that is gotten only after asking. You have to put yourself at a risk of being rejected.
In life, emotional wounds can heal quickly. It does not take 100 years. However, the point is to not get too caught up in how things are going to turn out. The results we achieve on a daily basis are usually inconsequential when viewed on the broader scale. When going through your day, go for it. What is the worst that will happen. Someone tells you "no". So what? In the long run it matters little.
Go for the sex. Go for the money. Go for the promotion. Go for it all. Whenever you take a chance, you have the opportunity to succeed. Each time you remain on the sidelines, you ensure you will remain in place. Success is available to those who go for it. Remember, in 100 years it won't matter. In fact, it will not matter in 100 days. So take a chance.
Sex as a motivator is helpful in allowing us to move past some of the fear we have residing within our heads. We tend to do a little better when we let the "little head override the big head". This goes contrary to what society teaches yet judging by the amount of unhappy people, who wants to listen to their methodology anyway? There is a lot more available to those who reach for it.
Rejection is a part of life. This is true whether we are referring to dating, sex, business, sales, or dealing with family. There will be times we are told "no". The reasons will vary but the end result is the same: we do not get what we want. It is reality so deal with it.
When we focus upon dating, who is the one who goes out on Friday night with the hot girl? Simply, the one who asks. It is the one who takes the risk who succeeds. Those who play it safe by avoiding the chance of rejection get to sit home alone watching an old movie. You have to get into the game to win.
The same is true in sales. Those who leave the office and make sales calls end up selling. Contrast this with the numbers of those who never leave the office. They avert the rejection while also avoiding success. The ones who put themselves out there prevail in the end.
Think back to the first girl who rejected you in school. For me it was a girl named Angel. I asked her out at a dance only to be shot down quicker than I knew what happened. It was as if "no" was pre-programmed. At the time it was devastating. Fortunately, I have since gotten over it (amazing what 30 years will do for a guy). Time does heal all wounds.
What would have happened if I allowed this past experience to stop me? There are many women I went out with after that because I asked them. I did not allow the fear to stop me. Sex is something that is gotten only after asking. You have to put yourself at a risk of being rejected.
In life, emotional wounds can heal quickly. It does not take 100 years. However, the point is to not get too caught up in how things are going to turn out. The results we achieve on a daily basis are usually inconsequential when viewed on the broader scale. When going through your day, go for it. What is the worst that will happen. Someone tells you "no". So what? In the long run it matters little.
Go for the sex. Go for the money. Go for the promotion. Go for it all. Whenever you take a chance, you have the opportunity to succeed. Each time you remain on the sidelines, you ensure you will remain in place. Success is available to those who go for it. Remember, in 100 years it won't matter. In fact, it will not matter in 100 days. So take a chance.
