The Opinions of Others

Did you ever take the time to consider how much you value the opinions of others? Actually, to take it once step further, did you ever ponder how you allow the opinions of others to control your life? If you are like most, these thoughts never really cross your mind. Instead, you pass through life living according to the precepts of others.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the area of sex. I found that the sexual arena is where all human behavior is magnified. If you want to find out something about how humans act, look at their sexual practices. With regard to the opinions of others, we see that our sexual activities are often controlled those very opinions. People rarely form their own ideals in this area. Instead, they allow others to dictate all that transpires.

Remember the days of high school where you would go out with a certain girl (or guy) because you knew your friends would not approve? Of course. We all remember those days. Sadly, the truth that most of us do not have to think all the way back to high school to recall this behavior. I would guess the majority of people retain this same mindset into adulthood.

Sex is something that is highly personal and individual. We all are attracted to something different. What one person finds sexy, another might find revolting. However, most tend to fall into the trap of trying to fit into what is considered normal. Therefore, they will resist taking action which goes contrary to popular belief.

A prime example is the homosexual community. This is a group that was ostracized for decades by society. They were judged, condemned, and physically abused. Society called them all kinds of names in an effort to "convert" them to normalcy. Sadly, many fell prey to these pressures. The opinions of others (and the violence) forced them to abandon the sexual choice they wanted to make. This trend changed in the last few decades with homosexuality being accepted by a larger percentage of the population. Nevertheless, the same cannot be said for polygamists, transgenders, or swingers. These groups are still looked down upon.

People who know me understand that I am involved in all kinds of "defiant" sexual behavior. (I write that term in quotes to signify their judgment not mine) I am a swinger, nudist, and practitioner of BDSM. These are lifestyle choices which I consciously chose which puts me at odds with mainstream society. Nevertheless, this is how I want to live my life. I am not at the mercy of public opinion on this one.

This brings me back to my original questions. Consider your life and how often you succumb to the wishes of others. Do you attend family gatherings out of guilt? Are you worried about what others will think when you are confronted with a decision? Do you shy away from choices because you know they are against the norms of those you frequently interact with? This is a sign that you put too much emphasis on what others think. Your life is your own. It is up to you to determine what you do with your time here on this planet. At the end of the road, when you look back, there will be nobody to blame but yourself.

Stop putting stock into what others think. The sad truth is that most of the people you are trying to appease are unhappy in their own lives. Whenever anyone is focusing upon your life, they are not looking at their own. This distraction is what most people want since they lack the courage to face the truth about their lives. Hence, they spent their time criticizing others who decide to live a little differently. These are the people that most are putting stock in.

As you can see, the opinions of others should matter little to you. I chose to live my life according to standards that are acceptable to me. If someone else has an issue with my choice, then that is his or her problem. We are free to choose how we spend our time on this planet and this is a freedom I opt to exercise. Do you have the courage to do the same? If so, then stop worrying so much about what others think. Do not allow their misery to rule your life.