People are often wondering how they can change their lives. They spend thousands of dollars on products in an effort to find that magical nugget which will completely transform their lives. Sadly, for most, they never uncover it. Instead, they follow the same path of "quiet desperation" that was the theme their entire life.
My belief is that most people lead lives that someone else chose for them. Few people ever take the time to consider how they got where they are. Going one step further, almost nobody ever questions how their belief system arose. Instead, they simply take for granted that what they believe is correct. Well, how did those beliefs get there? The answer is someone else ingrained them in that person's head.
Societal conditioning is one of the most powerful external forces we will ever face. It comes at us from all sides. When you look at the development of a child, there are numerous influences upon him or her which leave lasting impressions. In short, the entire thought process is created by others. These people are parents, teachers, religious folks, politicians, and peers. Simply put, we are a product of our environment.
Why do people in Boston root for the Red Sox as opposed to the Yankees? Why do we believe in equal rights while those followers of Islam consider women second class citizens? The answer is that people are conditioned by others to believe what they do.
Society has a way of taking complete control of a person's life. Most people, in this country at least, end up married. Why is that? The reason is that is what is expected of people. An alternative choice is not readily offered. People who choose the "single" lifestyle are questioned whether they are gay or not. Hell, now even the gays are asking for marriage. It is societies magical elixir. It is what "normal" people do.
We are also taught to be responsible by getting a good education, going to work, and paying our bills. This is what good citizens do. Few are taught techniques which will promote financial freedom. Society wants us to take the conservative road because, as the recent economic crisis shows, wide-spread gambling by a culture can have catastrophic consequences. Nevertheless, most people follow these tenets precisely.
Even our sex lives are determined for us although few ever consider this reality. The majority of people are heterosexual. I believe this is something that is biological. However, there still exists a great prejudice against people who are homosexual although that stigma is diminishing. The same is true for transsexuals, polygamists, and people into S&M. They are called perverts and shunned. That there is something wrong with those people is the common belief. They do not fit into society's idea of "normal.
Even in the heterosexual arena sexual behavior is dictated by others. The conditioning applies to people in all walks of life. There is a belief which determines how people are to behave sexually. Even in the privacy of their own bedroom, they are still influenced by what is deemed appropriate by others.
I once had a relationship with a woman which became sexual. This woman was from a strict religious background meaning that our sexual encounters were a sin (according to her belief). Also, she has it in her mind that sex was only suppose to go to a point. In other words, she had a preconceived notion of what "good girls" did. Her idea limited her lack of willingness to stray into anything she considered deviant. This made for an extremely boring sex life. Of course, believing anything different then what she was taught was unfathomable to this person.
Here is where you can begin to take control of your life. If you truly want to create a life that is yours, start by creating the sex life you desire. Consider all the sexual possibilities that exist in the world. Do you want polygamy? Does swinging interest you? Are you bi? Is the wonderful world of BDSM of interest to you? These are all sexual practices engaged in by normal people everyday. If they are of interest to you, why aren't you pursuing them? The time has come for you to decide what you want.
Being sexually honest with yourself takes courage. Everywhere you turn in society, there is some faction telling you to go against what is true to you. Remember, stability is what society is after. That is why it conditions people the way that it does. If you have fallen victim to this mindset, start by questioning how you live your sex life. You will be amazed how much influence others have on your "private" act.
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